Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
