Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
