Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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