I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
