He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
