i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
