she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
