Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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