i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
