the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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