She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
