Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
