I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
