Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
