I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
