We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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