I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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