GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
