I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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