and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
