we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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