I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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