I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
