sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
