i think my tv is drunk
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize