ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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