That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
