if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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