How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
