I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
