Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
