it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
