Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
