Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
