It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
