I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
