I queefed so loud it echoed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
