Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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