i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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