dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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