Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
