at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The maid of honor just puked.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
