I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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