She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
