3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
