Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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