Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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