I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
