I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
