can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
