ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
